Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Devil and Hugo Chavez

The Devil spoke at the UN yesterday which must have come as a surprise to the American Left. A surprise because most, if not all, of the political left don’t believe in the Devil or God; this has been made abundantly clear by one of their main spokespersons Bill Maher. What a shock it must have been when the spiritual leader of the American Left, Hugo Chavez, used his experience to detect the Devil’s presence.

Perhaps we don’t know all we could about Hugo, maybe he apprenticed at Ghost Busters; he was able to detect the smell of sulfur at the UN something apparently the smoke detectors failed to find. Hugo, that defender of Venezuelan democracy and human rights went on a Mussolini-like rant denouncing the United States. This is a good thing for conservatism in the USA and the left will rejoice in their naiveté thinking that because UN delegates responded with a standing ovation so will the American citizenry.

When Hugo called for the destruction of the United States by the end of this century he was displaying the hallmarks of statesmanship for which he is best known. Cindy must have been having another nocturnal event when she heard it. Michael is now planning his next documentary “Barbara’s Baby” loosely based on a 1960’s film with a similar name.

The uber left is now preparing for the occupation of the former United States by Venezuela, Cuba, and Iran. They just can’t wait. Finally they will be able to follow the humane example of these nations: close media outlets that criticize them, imprison writers they don’t like, impose behavioral patterns on the unwilling, mandatory gymnasium memberships, national body mass standards which are violated at one’s peril.

Oh Happy Day!! Michael Moore as Minister of Culture (he might have some body mass adjustment to perform); Cindy Sheehan as Minister of the Peace Department; Teddy Kennedy as Attorney General; with others yet unnamed. Of course the top spots will be reserved for the God fearing Muslims who did not have to be convinced by the sword. There might be some friction with Hugo and Ahmineajad, the one being a “Christian” and the other a Muslim, but perhaps the Pope can bring them together.

The United States government should exercise the power of eminent domain to condemn the UN building in New York, buy it for fair market value, raze it, and build some kind of housing area for the poor. At the very least the United States should reduce its annual contribution of UN funding by half to start, further reductions as time goes on. It is a certainty that UN delegates would much prefer to be in the land of God than in the land of the Devil. Teheran, Damascus, Beirut, Caracas, Havana all come to mind as Gardens of Eden where diplomacy can be conducted in a leisurely manner. All bribery and theft can pass unnoticed in such places; of course good restaurants and alcohol might be in short supply. Those are small enough inconveniences to bear when doing the world’s work.

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